The Mindset Shifts I Made to Kick-Start Healing

I’m on a high right now.

A healing high.  

The high you get when you realize the things you’ve chosen for yourself and your healing journey aren't simply working, they are transformative!

I just left my acupuncturists office and she was astonished by how much I’ve shifted things in the short period of time (8 months) she’s known me.  It felt amazingly good to hear.

My Healing Journey

I’ve been on a really intentional healing journey for the better part of a decade now.  

I had made great progress at the beginning, but then a few years ago things started to stall.  For a long time it felt like I was just racking up diagnosis: anxiety, depression, PCOS, adrenal fatigue, TMJ, Postpartum PTSD... and nothing was changing.

Not only was nothing changing, it felt like things were getting worse!

It’s been painful and confusing and frustrating. There have been days, weeks and months of depression, loneliness, crippling anxiety and physical pain.

After trudging through the muck of awakening for years, the clouds have finally parted, the rain stopped, and I’ve found beautiful green grass to wiggle my toes in.
- Stephanie Aberlich

I haven’t felt like myself for so much of it; riddled with exhaustion, social anxiety and mental fog.  And some days I really didn’t think it was ever going to get better, no matter what new therapist I talked to, new supplement I took, new healing therapy I tried, or how I changed my lifestyle.

It hasn’t been pretty.  Or easy.

HEALING NEVER IS.

But I’ve learned valuable information about myself and recovery in the process.

After trudging through the muck of awakening for years, the clouds have finally parted, the rain stopped, and I’ve found beautiful green grass to wiggle my toes in.

For the time being.

This about-face has been a long time coming and it’s on the heels of some very profound shifts in my mindset that I wanted to share with you.  I was working against myself for a long time and trying to "fix" myself instead of trying to understand myself.

A combination of getting my nervous system under control and learning these truths has been the metamorphosis I've been working toward.

Whether you're trying to heal something that has become physical, mental, or emotional, it's all the same.

First Things First….

1. There is nothing inherently wrong with you.

I want you to really marinate in this because your deep understanding of it is imperative to moving forward with the rest of the list without shaming yourself or falling into a deep dark hole of depression & anxiety.

Say these to yourself every day:

 

What?  You may say!  "But they told me I’m sick!"  Or "Everyone else tells me something is wrong with me!"

Here’s what I mean…. your body has responded exactly as it was designed to, to the experiences, lifestyle & environment you’ve been in.  This illness or disease or suffering you’re experiencing, is an alarm from your body & mind to help you heal.  

Hear that again - YOUR BODY IS DOING EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS MEANT TO DO!!!  Yay body!

It’s trying to tell you, “The way you’ve been living and thinking isn’t working for me.  I’ve been trying to tell you this for a long time. You haven’t listened, so I’m going to get louder until you do.  PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!

Your body is your friend and just wants you to heal, so it’s calling for a change.

The challenge comes in whether you are going to choose to listen to it or ignore it and continue to suppress it.

2. All Illness Begins with Trauma

What do I mean by trauma?  I mean anything in your life you experienced as traumatic.  It doesn’t matter if someone else found it traumatic, what matters is you did.

When we experience something traumatic (whether it’s emotional, physical or sexual), the experience isn’t really what harms us longterm.  It’s the stories we make up about our own worth, due to the experience, that get stuck in our minds & bodies and ultimately lead to illness.

Working to become aware of those traumas and trying to heal them is a powerful part of your recovery.  It can take many forms, but I’ve found overwhelmingly for me, the most powerful medicine has been spiritual or energetic.  

In particular, the work of Louise Hay and her book You Can Heal Your Life, has been especially poignant when looking at the stuck emotions, that became stories, that turned into beliefs, that have led to illness.

Allowing the emotions to rise and move through you instead of trying to make up meaning about it leaves room for healing to occur.

We are more than just bodies, so much more.  Finding true lasting healing has to be holistic.  It HAS to include all parts of our being - Body, Emotions, Mind & Energy.  AND all parts of our environment - Self, Home, Family, & Community.

3. What You Choose to Believe About Healing MATTERS

If you believe you are a powerless victim to your circumstances or DNA, and the only things that can help you are outside of you: doctors, surgery, and medications; then those beliefs say, "Nothing I do or change is really going to matter to my healing."

Western medicine could only offer me bandaids and ways to suppress my bodies alarm systems, while natural & alternative therapies were helping me find the root cause, see the wisdom in it, and give  s p a c e  for true healing to occur.
- Stephanie Aberlich

But if you believe you have a choice, you're body can heal, and your choices can change outcomes in your life, then you have a real shot at this healing thing.

What you choose to believe about healing can dramatically shift your ability to heal.

Our beliefs create our reality and perceptions.

The biggest perspective shift I had was:  

Western medicine could only offer me bandaids and ways to suppress my bodies alarm systems, while natural & alternative therapies were helping me find the root cause, see the wisdom in it, and give  s p a c e  for true healing to occur.

And this leads me to the biggest shift you can make in your healing journey…

4. You MUST Stand in Your Power


YOU ARE INCREDIBLY POWERFUL!

You are powerful beyond anything you’ve been led to believe!  And you MUST stand in your power if you want to truly heal.

What does standing in your power mean?  It means standing in your truth & trusting your inner wisdom.

Sometimes we aren’t willing to stand in our power because of fear of being judged.  

I have experienced this for years.  The way I view parenting, healing, and living, is so dramatically different from everyone I grew up with, it's been a struggle for me to stand in my truth for fear of being judged, abandoned, and called crazy.

But the thing with healing is: it's an inside job.  If you don't deeply believe in the treatments or modalities you are choosing, then it's not going to work long term.  So that means listening to that still small voice inside of you instead of all the ones yelling about treatment options that don't feel right to you.

You know yourself best.  Those who don't understand your path, are on a different trajectory.  You don't need their permission to follow your inner wisdom.

Once I decided to unapologetically follow MY intuition on this healing journey instead of anyone else's advice (I mean ANYONE), things started to change for me in big ways.

Sometimes we give our power away to others and need it back before we can heal.

Especially if you’re an empath or HSP, it is likely you’ve given your power away at various times in your life.  You probably wanted desperately to help or protect someone you love so you unknowingly gave your power to them.

Especially if you’re an empath or HSP, it is likely you’ve given your power away at various times in your life.  You probably wanted desperately to help or protect someone you love so you unknowingly gave your power to them.
- Stephanie Aberlich

If you're a mother, chances are likely you gave at least some of your power to your child when you birthed them (especially if there was trauma around the birth).  It's very common and happens because there's an enormous shift that occurs in your sacral chakra (where your reproductive system is) when you carry a child in your womb.  Coincidentally, the sacral chakra is also the center of your power source.  So if your chi was out of alignment or stuck, you may have transferred some of your power to your child(ren).

I know this intimately because I just recently took my power back from two of the people I love the most in this world.  I hadn’t realized I gave it to them as they were going through a very difficult time.  Taking it back has been truly life changing.

I shifted from being unsure of what path to take in healing my PCOS & adrenal fatigue, to being certain I was going to follow my intuition instead of practitioners.  And then I took the ACTIONS (that had before been so difficult) to better my lifestyle.

The shift that taking my power back created has blown me away!

5. You HAVE to Take Responsibility

Everything we experience in our lives was brought to us through attraction.  We’ve attracted the good, the bad & the ugly. We all do.

It’s not a reason to feel shame or get down on yourself.  It just is.  It's how we learn, grow and change into the people we came here to be.

For a long time I rejected this, thinking it was a way to blame myself for everything, and saw it as self-defeating instead of self-empowering.  Through shifting the other beliefs first, I was finally able to really understand how empowering it is to take complete responsibility for my life.

Having awareness of your part in your journey puts you into a position where change is finally possible.  When we don’t realize we are responsible, we can blame our experiences and illnesses on others, and therefore be stubborn to the changes we really need to make.

6. You Need to Surrender, Accept & Forgive

Last but not least is the healing trinity of surrender, acceptance & forgiveness.

I truly believe they are paramount to moving forward in healing.  For years I avoided these powerful forms of emotional healing like the friggin plague, and I felt stuck.  Once I leaned into them, an opening occurred.

Surrender - Find your higher power and surrender to it.  Give your stress and your illness and your constant worry and need for control to it.  It will lighten your load.

Acceptance - This is about accepting your situation and the experiences that shaped you.  The past can’t be changed. It is so important to KNOW your story, but not to DWELL in your story or become stuck in victimhood.

Forgiveness - Yes people do shitty things, but that was on them, not you.  That was ABOUT them, not you. You can accept your history without making excuses for those who hurt you or blaming them.  Know they did those things because of their own unawareness, not because there was something wrong with you.

For me, a lot of acceptance & forgiveness has come from learning more about the people that hurt me, and having a better understanding for where they were in their life.

This doesn’t mean you need to have a heart to heart with them.  What it does mean, is that maybe you can find some empathy through understanding the circumstances of their own hurt.

Because hurt people hurt people.  And forgiveness heals.

Truly, forgiveness is for you, not them.

Unraveling The Cause

Healing is a mystery for each of us to solve.  It includes learning more about ourselves, understanding our pasts, and connecting the dots to how that's been expressed in our bodies in the present.

Figuring out how to treat the root cause is the only true way I know to deeply heal.  And there may be several root causes, I know there have been for me.  It is truly a journey of a lifetime to know thyself and therefore know how to heal.

Awareness Over Perfection

For those who this resonates with, take it at your own pace. Healing can't be forced.  Force creates more tension.  Do what works for you. The most important thing is that you are gentle with yourself and give yourself tons of grace and kindness during this time.  

Tell Your Story

What mindset shifts have you found to be important in your healing journey?  What ones have you struggled with the most?  Tell me in the comments.

With Harmony,

Stevie